Get it!

I am learning a new lesson - perhaps it's an old lesson which I have not yet managed to learn - but I think I finally get it!

The choices I make, is what counts. How I choose to live my life; what I do with my time - choosing to spend it wisely, how I treat others, how I respond to circumstances around me, how I respond to the behaviour of others - good and especially bad, is entirely my choice. What I do is entirely up to me. If I choose the good way, particularly when it seems difficult or unfair, it frees me from the bad.


If I choose to have a good attitude and others choose to have a bad attitude - that is their choice. All I can do is do the right thing and thereby free myself from the bad. If another person chooses the bad, they make that choice for themselves and the only impact I will ever be able to make on them is by continuing to choose the good. Perhaps they will change, perhaps they won’t - it's their choice and not my responsibility. My responsibility lies in making the good choice and trying to do God's will, trying to align myself with Him and when I fail at it, just get back up and try again.

When I choose to do what is right - no one else can hold me responsible for their bad choice. But of course there are times when I need to say: 'I will not allow you to do that to me again.' and set a boundary which actually acts to protect both parties. By drawing a line, everyone knows the limit and if the line is purposefully crossed, the person who purposely crosses the line is solely responsible for their action and likewise, their choice to take action toward reconciliation is entirely theirs to make.

If the person to whom the wrong was done is willing to reconcile the relationship/situation but the person who has done wrong can see the wrong they have done but refuses to be sorry for (repent of) their actions and does not try to reconcile the relationship/situation, then that is their choice and their choice should not affect the person actively seeking to reconcile the situation.

What we are called to do is pray for the offending party, leaving them in the hands of God, whilst we continue to walk in Peace with God. It is not our job to change the offender - but God's work, alone. And we must not allow the offender to put us on a guilt trip which is not ours to own - if we have done what is right and they have chosen to do what is wrong, that is their choice. If we speak in truth and peace with the offender and they will not listen, again that is their choice.  We must say a prayer for them, guard the door to our heart and move on, with our eyes fixed on the 'Goal' who is God our Father, Jesus Christ His Son and the Holy Spirit - three in one. 

'Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.' (Philippians 4:8 ESV)